It was St Valentine’s night, 32 years and four children after our relationship’s first St Valentine’s night, and we were at Northampton’s Royal & Derngate for a preview performance of (the) Woman by Jane Upton.
I know there are people out there who will have a wry smile to themselves about what that says about the way things work between me and My One True Love, and as we settled into our seats even she was having a little chuckle about how far off my ideal St Valentine’s Night a raw new analysis of the beauty and horror of motherhood might be.
Admittedly, when I said “yeah, why not?” to the date, I hadn’t realised Saints were playing so I didn’t fully appreciate how much of an ally I was being but I am both a father and a son. Nobody needs to apologise to me for talking about motherhood. If I cringe or wince at some of the truths that’s just my ugly face doing its thing.
Firstly I’m going to say I really like this play. It flies by in 100 minutes of sweet and sour storytelling, scenes flickering between the farcical and fearful, stepping from humour into horror and out again with the kind of visceral indifference to our tiny minds that parenthood has when it arrives. It is brazenly honest, joyously vulgar, funny, thoughtful and sad. Upton puts you right in the loose-hinged front seat as you follow the progress of M, a playwright on her journey through early motherhood played by Lizzy Watts.
Lizzy delivers a central character with fire and vulnerability who stays likable right to the end as the rest of the cast become an Alice in Wonderland style gallery of encounters on the way. Jamie-Rose Monk in particular has an instinctive touch with humour and pathos. The scene where she meets M for coffee is heart rending. Later she conjures up a laugh just by changing her expression.
The men are not the villains of the piece although they are far from perfect. The overarching logic of (the) Woman is that the world is not perfect and we will make unlikely and uncomfortable compromises with it every day. Andre Squire and Cian Barry stay likable too as embodiments of hope and disappointment in various guises, treading a skilful line between comical and credible. The really impressive thing about how good they all were is that this show is right at the start of the run. They don’t know yet when lines are landing in that irresistible way and the audience is going to laugh. These thespians really know what they’re doing.
The production is a team-up between New Perspectives in Nottingham and Royal & Derngate and while it is probably wrong to call it a comedy, humour is right at the heart of this beautifully written play. You are a good way into the action when you understand what is really funny about the opening – a clever way to capture that “we can look back and laugh now” experience that is definitely part of parenting.
A red flag went up for me when M debates the topic of motherhood as a subject for a play with various theatre professionals. Normally I find this kind of ‘writing about writing’ a turn-off but Upton uses it to throw in laughs at the expense of theatre industry and tease us about the autobiographical nature of the piece. How much real Upton is in M’s story is one of the tensions that keeps you locked in all the way through.
If there is a real villain of the piece you might identify it as the concept of ‘the banality of motherhood’. The idea that it is too routine and ordinary to be a fit subject for drama is attacked head on with an absorbing and entertaining play but I don’t even think Upton is fully comfortable with winning the argument like that. The show closes with a hostile review emblazoned across the set that feels more like allowing Upton’s inner demons a final cheeky wink than an attempt to pre-empt criticism.
Is it a worthy subject? As an older parent watching this it rings with a vibration of truth that is unmistakeable. Only a young writer with the trauma and delight fresh in their mind can really get this. Parenting is a long game from any direction you look at it and there are no intervals. If there was a (the) Woman to watch from every era of history it would tell us so much wouldn’t it? What we do with the opportunity to enjoy our version of it is up to us.
The show goes on tour after previewing in Northampton. Tour details are available on the Royal & Derngate website.
