Page Eleventeen: Dummies, doubles and butterflies

If they ask you where you heard it, this page doesn’t exist…

Hushedlips

 Page Eleventeen: If they ask you where you heard it, this page doesn’t exist

Healthcare for dummies

The University of Northampton has opened its new Competence Testing Centre for international nurses in Northampton.

Wannabe medics from Abroad can spend a day at the CTC in The Innovation Centre and prove their skills in various practical nursing situations.

The CTC is a faithful recreation of a modern hospital ward, complete with mannequin patients in various states of mannequin ill health awaiting the healing hands of the examinees.

One of the very first angels of mercy to visit their bedsides was none other than the mighty Nick Petford, Vice Chancellor of the university, who was among the great and good at the opening ceremony.

Seeing the sorry state of the mannequin patients Nick was only too happy to have his competence tested and see if he could administer some basic care without incurring the wrath of the nurse examiners.

Unfortunately he fell at the first hurdle when he picked up his patient’s drugs with his bare hands.

Blushes for the senior management but at least we can sleep safely in the knowledge that our medical staff are rigorously tested and there is no immediate danger of Nick donning a nurse’s uniform…

Double vision

We live in the age of austerity and when every spare penny we can muster for public services is at a premium, we like to see evidence that our money is being used well. Imagine the horror on the face of one of our eagle-eyed readers when he came across this over enthusiastic signing outside Delapre Abbey (above), he had barely got over the shock of that when he was found himself slack-jawed with dismay over what is going on at Abbey House (right). He thought he was seeing double, but he wasn’t. It’s a sign of the times.

Our appalling editor’s latest embarrassment

The appalling editor of this unfortunate publication, was at the launch of the 2017 Carlsberg Northamptonshire Food and Drink Awards held at Dawn Farms or as we know it, TMI Foods. Guests were shown round the deliciously aromatic bacon factory, given a butchery demonstration and at the end of the day our editor was stupidly pleased to receive a certificate telling him he was a graduate at last – of the Meat University.

Meat

A whiff of sulphur

received_1687300634628784Northampton has its critics but the implications of this weather update captured on an i-Phone recently are a little spine tingling when you think about it. Yes Noho can pull off a fair representation of post-industrial grim on an overcast day but smoke? There’s only one place that has smoke for weather…

The butterfly stamps its bank book

The Northampton Arts Lab is spreading its influence across the country, most recently at a mandrill-themed gathering in Liverpool.

The rag tag band of have a go arts heroes have opened a bank account, requiring details of the organisation’s officers which were duly supplied. There was The Imperial Cyclops, The Eternal Butterfly, Random High Pitched Things Hearer, The Left Legged Trouser Curtain…

About Steve (112 Articles)
I'm the editor and owner of The NeneQuirer.

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